im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
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