It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize