on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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