get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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