Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
where am i from again
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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