so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
