did you get engaged???
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
