Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
