if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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