so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
