I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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