No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
