I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
