I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
