You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
