i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
