Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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