Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
