Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
