Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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