I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
