if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize