so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
