I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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