i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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