And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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