Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
