he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
