I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
