Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
