K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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