I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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