I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you win again, gameday.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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