Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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