Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
