so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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