Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
