Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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