Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize