I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You are a genius and a whore.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
