I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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