ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i jhust puked up my retainher.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
