He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Come share oat with me in your robe
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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