All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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