Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize