Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
