can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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