im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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