BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
