Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
