If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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