so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
