Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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