i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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