Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
