Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He better not be in your backpack
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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