That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
