my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
