And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
