i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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