How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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