That's intense
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
