i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
