I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
