Actions speak louder than pants.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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