exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Sober January is a disaster.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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