Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
