Is it normal to miss your booty call?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
