Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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