He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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