Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
