The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
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