I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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